Friday, November 13, 2015

Italy, Week 53 (11/11/15) - Finding Sorella Hawks

Hello and welcome to Milan Italy! Where cultures from all over the world meet and mesh together. And great news. I get to stay.
You heard right! I'M STAYING!!! Haha! I'm so happy. I feel bad for my comp because she got transferred and she only has one transfer left and she only did one transfer here.... But she gets to go to Siena.  It's a beautiful place to die.
I just love being a missionary and doing missionary work.  This week wasn't very different from any other week. We still had scambi, we still got bidonies, we still had crazy FHE. So yeah.  Although I do have to say, this FHE yesterday night was wonderful. We taught and we did an object lesson on the Holy Ghost and what you do is you blindfold two people and one person has to try to feed the other yogurt. You can imagine how well that goes. Then they do it again, but this time with the help of someone who can see what's going on. It's really entertaining. At least until someone's tie gets ruined.... We felt really bad about that....  
, I'm going to go off on another note today.... This transfer was a weird one. When I got the call at the end of last transfer that I would serve with my companion that I have now, I was afraid. We had met a few times before and I always felt like she didn't like me or thought I was annoying. So I mistakenly assumed that this transfer would be rough, although I did have the hope that it would be great. When we met up at transfer circles, we didn't even say hi. We just went on our merry way after saying goodbye to everyone else. That made me even more scared. I kept my distance and held back, testing the waters to see what she thought of me. I analyzed her every word, move, and blink. In doing so, I shut down. I tucked myself, the person who I had worked so hard to become, away and built a wall, waiting for her to break it down so I knew that it was safe. But obviously that didn't happen. My life became an emotional roller coaster and I resorted back to my high school self; irritated, negative, bitter, quick to blame others, and self-pitying. And I hated it.
tried so hard to overcome it but nothing was working. Then one day I exploded. I had been carrying a load and literally putting more and more on myself, then the final straw fell on top and it all came tumbling down. And it's finally what humbled me enough to get me to stop asking God to change me, to change my companion, to take away the pain, and I simply asked for guidance to find myself again. I so wanted to be me again. And the wall fell like a soft curtain. Nothing loud, nothing dramatic. Just calm, peaceful, and I didn't fear anymore. I didn't pity myself anymore. I had finally stopped covering myself and just let it out. And guess what? My companion and I have never been closer. Not much else of how we do things is different. I'm just myself. And it turns out that we like each other for who we areHaha. It's kind of ironic, huh? But it was an incredible learning experience for me. God puts us where we are and with the people that we're with for a reason. We are needed. The person that we are in that very moment is needed, for other people but also of ourselves, so that we may improve as well. I feel really silly about it all now, but I'm really grateful for it. Just be YOU! Don't feel scared or embarrasses to be yourself.
I know that this is kind of a weird mass email to send out, but it's what happened this week. If I had tried to write anything different it would have just been almost the same as last week and the week before.   And that's lame and boring.
I found out he the Sorelle in Trieste, my last city, were taken out.  That was really hard to hear and it makes me sad, but I know the Lord is watching over that city and those people. And when the time is right, Sorelle will be sent there again. I just hope I'm still in the mission that day!
I love you all so much and I wish I could thank you enough for all that you have done for me. Have a wonderful week and know that you're  in my prayers.
Vi voglio bene!
Sorella Hawks :)

 District pictures! Believe it or not, this was the best one...
Also, our Elder from New Zealand, Anziano Te Maari, did a Haka for us and it was the most terrifying thing in the world.  

 Family Home Evening
Companion Activity

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