Thursday, September 24, 2015

Italy, Week 46 (9/23/15) - The Lord Blesses His Missionaries

My brain is very aware of the fact that I should be absolutely, one hundred percent drained and exhausted to the point where I should hardly be able to take one more step in front of the other. But I'm not. Yes, I'm tired, as is normal, but I cannot comprehend how much energy I have. I'm honestly not kidding when I say that the Lord has blessed me immensely. This week was great but tolling, but the Lord has blessed me with a strength emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually that I cannot believe. But what I love is that I haven't been blessed with incredible super hero energy where I feel like I could run one hundred miles and back in an hour. I'm still my normal tired where sitting for too long my eyes get a little heavy, but it's just what I need. I know at the beginning of my mission when I started getting really tired I didn't understand why I was tired. I thought the Lore would bless me with an inhuman ability to never be tired because I was doing His work. But I have come to understand that He gives us exactly as much as we need, in everything, to go on and do what we need to do. I love that. He doesn't baby or over spoil us, but He sure as anything takes care of us.
We had an AWESOME zone training on Thursday! It was so weird being up in the front doing a training with the zone leaders, but it ended up
being super fun and I actually enjoyed it a little! Plus it turns out there's an Elder from Palmyra NY! FORZA EAST COAST. Then we did a scambio with the Lugano Sorelle and I was with my wonderful German friend Sorella Kras again :) it was so fun! We got yummy gelato to celebrate my year mark. I didn't take any pictures, I'm sorry, I'm so lame.
Fun news, I was asked to play for the stake choir at stake conference this coming October haha. Hopefully I'm still here for it!  This guy at the metro station started talking to me because I was trying to see what time our metro was coming and he was in the way. He was Napoletano and old and kept telling me he was looking for a girl.  Well he didn't find her in me, sorry Massimo. He was super nice, but.... I'm a sister missionary nun. Quello flirtare non va bene.  Oh! And on Sunday this really professional musically talented member of our ward was like, hey, I brought my violin, let's do a musical number. So during sacrament meeting he handed me the children's song book and told me how he wanted to do it and 20 minutes later we played it. It was a little rough, but really fun nonetheless! :)
Then we went on a scambio Monday to Tuesday in Como and I got to be with a fresh new missionary in her first transfer, Sorella Carrus!  She's from Sardegna but lives in Reggio Mila and is going to the Temple Square mission, but is here until her visa comes through. She is INCREDIBLE. Literally, she knows so much and understands so much about the mission that I didn't figure out for a long time. She's on fire and knows what she's doing. She and her trainer are practically whitewashing the city, so it's a little rough, but Sorella Carrus is amazing!
But again, tears were shed and tantrums (literal tantrums) were thrown towards the end as we had a meeting all together. It wasn't very pretty. But we tried our best to give council, and Sorella Carrus listened and learned! I told you, she's fantastic. She has no problems, she could train herself.  ANYWHO.
I just want to share with you what I've learned from seeing a lot of different situations from a lot of different Sorelle. We are all clay in the hands of God. He has put us here on the earth to shape us.  Sometimes it's hard and it hurts, but we are becoming more beautiful.  We are a work of art, but it is our decision whether or not we let ourselves become the beauty that God sees in us. He has given us certain situations so that we can learned and grow and be shaped. The situation is ugly, but we become all the more beautiful because of it.  Let us be soft clay. Let these moments, these beautifully tragic moments in our lives shape us and let it be easy for God to shape us.  Don't be hardened, dry, unmanageable clay that believes that you are fine just the way you are. You may not consciously think that, but sometimes you need to take a step back and see if you're acting that way. Don't tell God what you want Him to do or how you think things should go. Give your will to His and find the learning opportunities instead of whining and complaining and waiting for the day when your situation might change. If you do that, you're just an outline. These moments are for us to be filled with color, brightness, shading, and who we truly are. Just please, I beg of each and every one of you individually. Look at yourself. See how you've grown, if you've grown.  Everyday should be a new learning experience. There is not a day that goes by where God doesn't try to teach us something. If you haven't learned something, search for something new to learn! Don't let this precious time pass you by. Be soft clay in the hands of the Lord. I can promise you that you are nowhere safer.
I love you so much, I am so grateful for my parents and siblings who taught me how to handle trials and adversity and helped me to grow.  I'm grateful for your strength and love. You are all so dear to my heart. I wish you the best of luck.

Vi voglio un mondo di bene <3
Sorella Hawks :)

#youknowyoureinitalywhen this is the view outside you're window. If you're colorblind.


Maxi burgers at Roadhouse. Yes, you can find a good old Mexican burger here

 It's frightening how big it is.



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